I have had a challenging month. In the past weeks I have lashed out in anger after having been hurt; unintentionally said the wrong thing; unintentionally done the wrong thing; and had many instances where I have just felt like a failure to my faith.
Last week I was worried that I didn’t make a very good Christian because, even though I admitted each one of these failings in prayer, and asked for forgiveness, I still kept doing stupid wrong things. This thought made me anxious, depressed, and my hope took a nosedive.
Then something amazing happened – I went to school. Tully’s school to be exact. I was there to head up a reading group, and it was during this group that I made wonderful discovery about my failings, and my faith.
Here is the background story:
One of the children in the group had torn small rips on the side of a page in one of the books. The crime was pointed out to me by a boy who vigorously pointed the finger at another boy as the culprit. I knew that the finger pointing was justified, and despite denying the vandalism, I knew the boy had done the deed. I tried to coax the perpetrator into admitting it was him. This was extremely hard because I was constantly interjected by the finger pointer at every turn, so harshly did he judge the wrongdoing.
After a discussion on respecting books, I spoke about the deed itself and how I thought that it had been an unconscious action, not a deliberate naughtiness. I could see that it was a case of restless fingers.
Then I spoke about how not one of us is perfect, we all do wrong, even me as an adult, and it takes courage and character to admit our mistakes. Something I must have said had an effect on the boy, because when I asked again he put up his hand and admitted it was him.
I was elated, I was proud, I was happy, I wanted to cry. It was a turn around that delighted my heart. I told him that I still had to tell the teacher about the damaged book, but that I was proud of the way he had owned up, I acknowledged his bravery, and I told him that I would help him.
On my walk home I realised that I was exactly the same as the little boy who had done wrong. No matter how hard I tried, I could not be ‘good’. But when I go to God and admit my wrongdoing, He is elated because I have not tried to hide what He already knows.
I know that I have His forgiveness, and He will show me how to change if I ask for His help. It is never easy because by nature I have struggles, but He knows them all, and loves me anyway. He has brought me a long way, and I have a long way to go, but as long as I continue to seek Him, His forgiveness, and His help, He will be with me. In spite of my inability to be ‘good’, I am a delight to Him.
YOU are a delight to Him too. This Easter know that Jesus came so YOU can go to HIM. He is elated when you seek Him.
1 John 1:9 – ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness’
Luke 15:7 – ‘I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.’
Matthew 7:1-2 – ‘Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.’
John 3:16 – ‘For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.’